Spring Awakening in Under 10 Minutes
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: What happens when Spring Awakening is shortened to ten minutes? Moritz dreams, Wendla has "no way to handle things" and Melchi calls and one day all will know. My SA parody. Part of my Parody series. REVIEW PLEASE!


**A/N: MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Here it is! I've just finished reading the SA libretto as well as the original play (Masked Man?). I still love Moritz....lol...**

**So here is my spoof! please enjoy!**

**AND REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: *Sigh* I am not Duncan Sheik so i do not own Spring Awakening...or Moritz....**

Scene 1:

Wendla: *Sigh* I am uneducated…WHEEEE! I'm a faerie queen!

Frau Bergman: Stop twirling…Your sister had a baby.

Wendla: Yay! Mama, where do babies come from?

Frau Bergman: That's for me to know and you to find out later…

Wendla: Are you foreshadowing?

Frau Bergman: Yes.

Girls: Grrr! We're angsting!

Scene 2:

Herr Sonnenstich: Ok, let's recite Latin!

Boys: Latin…Latin…Latin…

Melchior: I'm a radical! YOU WATCH ME, JUST WATCH ME! I'M CALLING AND ONE DAY ALL WILL KNOW!

Herr Sonnenstich: Ok, Herr Stiefel? Herr Stiefel?

Moritz: *waking up* 24!!

Boys: Woooow….

Herr Sonnenstich: Wake up!

Melchior: I must stand up fro my friend!

Herr Sonnenstich: Ok. *whacks!*

Melchior: Ow…

Moritz: Melchi, I'm scared. I'm having dreams…of _girls! _AND I'M SCARED! Am I gay?

Melchior: No, you're not gay…

Moritz: *whimpers*

Georg: I gawk at my piano teacher!

Otto: I dreamt about my mom!

Moritz:……………………

Scene 3:

Thea: HOLY CRAP! MELCHI GABOR IS A SEXY BEAST!

Anna: He's such a radical…

Wendla: Yeah….

*Pause*

Martha: I like Moritz!

Thea: You can't like Moritz! YOU MUST ADORE MELCHIOR!!!!!!!!!!!

Martha: Make me…

Thea: I wanna marry him….

*Meanwhile…*

Georg: *playing piano* *drools*

Fraulein Grossebustenhalter: Georg, the piano's covered in your saliva….

Georg: *drools more*

Hanschen: hehehehehehhehehehehehehe…..I'm being bad….

Boys and Girls: *sigh*

Scene 4:

Moritz: Melchi, write me an essay!

Melchior: M'kay!

*Later…*

Moritz: AAAAAHHHHH!

Melchior: What?

Moritz: The dreams! How do I make them stop?

Melchior: Well….*cues song to start*

All (except Moritz): TOUCH ME! JUST LIKE THAT!

Moritz: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs out*

Georg: Wow…..*riffs*

Scene 5:

Wendla: *whistles* Hey!

Melchior: Shame sucks!

Wendla: Melchior Gabor!

Melchior: Wendla Bergman!

Wendla: Well, this has been awkward…bye!

Melchior: Bye…?

Scene 6:

Moritz: Hallelujah!

Otto: What happened?

Moritz: MELCHI! I passed the mid-terms! *does the 'I Passed' Happy Dance*

Melchior: Yay!

Fraulein Knuppeldick: Moritz Stiefel's a dumbass.

Herr Knochenbruch: Let's fail him!

*Meanwhile…*

Thea: Let's go by the bridge to watch MELCHIOR! Hey, Martha, your braids make you look fat and ugly.

Martha: Thanks, Thea….

Wendla: LET'S CUT IT!

Martha: NO!

Wendla: Crap! You're bruised!

Anna: What happened?

Martha: Well…my dad is mean and abusive and he beats me with a belt and rapes me almost daily.

All:……………………………......................................................................................

Anna: No, really, what happened?

Ilse: It's ok, buddy! BE STRONG!

Wendla: I HAVE AN IDEA!

Scene 7:

Melchior: Blah, blah, blah….

Wendla: Melchi, be a dear and beat me with this stick, please? And if you do, I flash my almost bare bottom to the audience!

Melchior: Um….ok….*beats her*

Wendla: *in tears* Well, that was dumb….

Scene 8:

Moritz: Um, Dad, hypothetical question. Let's say my friend is failing school-

Herr Stiefel: YOU'RE FAILING SCHOOL?!

Moritz: Shit.

Frau Gabor: Dear Moritz. Apparently I don't give a shit about your angst. And also I will ignore your suicide threat too. Love, Fanny!

Moritz: *sad face*

Scene 9:

Melchior: Sittin' in my hayloft….

Wendla: Hi! I have your journal!

Melchior: Bitch, give it back!

Wendla:…..

Melchior: Hmmm…it's raining…

Wendla: Are you seriously asking me about the weather?

Melchior: You're hot. Let's have sex!

Wendla: Umm…ok….

ACT II:

Scene 1:

Wendla: Wow…I mean, wow…Just…WOW.

Melchior: Yeah…

Fr. Kaulbach: Don't have sex. 'Cause you _will_ get pregnant. And die.

Georg: Irony, anyone?

Scene 2:

Moritz: ENOUGH! ENOUGH!!

Ilse: Hi there!

Moritz: AAAHHH! FEMALE!!!

Ilse: Gee, thanks…Well, _I've_ just spent a week with Gustav Baum! And-!

Moritz: I don't care!

Ilse: You remember when we used to play pirates? Let's do it again!

Moritz: Nope. Gotta go!

Ilse: I HATE YOU!

Moritz: Goodbye, cruel world!!

Scene 3:

Melchior: *at Moritz's funeral* You guys suck as parents!

Herr and Frau Stiefel:……………………

Martha: *bawls her eyes out*

Scene 4:

Fraulein Knuppeldick: Melchior Gabor…

Herr Knochenbruch: You're expelled!

Melchior: Fuck….

Scene 5:

Ernst: *mumbles*

Hanschen: Hi.

Ernst: *swoons*

Hanschen: Um…

Ernst: You know, sometimes, I dream about being a priest…

Hanschen: *dripping with sarcasm* Really?

Ernst: Um…

Hanschen: I….am a pussycat…

Ernst: OK!

*They kiss*

Ernst: I LOVE YOU HANSCHEN RILOW!

Hanschen: Who doesn't?

Scene 6:

Wendla: Mama, I feel like crap…

Doctor: You're just anemic…and pregnant…

Frau Bergman: No she's not!

Doctor: Of course, what do I know? I'm just a doctor….

Frau Bergman: *passes out*

Wendla: Mama?

Frau Bergman: WTF?!!?!?!?!

Wendla: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! *sigh* Oh well, I'll go live happily ever after with Melchi and our baby!

Frau Bergman: Not so fast….

Scene 7:

Herr Gabor: Off to reform school!

Melchior: Why?

*at school*

Melchior: *sad face*

Reformatory Students: You suck!

Melchior: *gets letter* Wendla's pregnant? Shit….Escape time!

*Georg plays the "Mission Impossible" theme while Melchior escapes*

*Meahwhile…*

Wendla: Mama, why are we in the seedy part of town at three in the morning?

Frau Bergman: SHH!

Schmidt: Hi there!

Wendla: SHIT!

Scene 8:

Ilse: Crap! Wendla's dead!

Martha: But what do we do with this oddly ironic letter from Melchior?

Thea: GIMME! *sniffs it* It smells like him….

Anna: *steals the letter* Give me that, you crazed beeyotch. It says he wants to meet her at the graveyard.

Ilse: And he finds that romantic….why….?

Scene 9:

Melchior: Wendla? You-hoo? Marco?

* No one responds 'Polo'*

Melchior: Oh, look! A conveniently paced new grave! Here lies WENLDA BERGMAN?! NOOOO! It's not true! Wendla?! WENDLA?! MARCO?!

Moritz: Polo!

Melchior: AHHHHH!

Wendla: No fair! I wanted to say Polo!

Melchior: HOLY SHIT!

Moritz: Don't kill yourself…it sucks…

Melchior: Ok!

Ilse: Yay! I get to start the finale!

All: Bye people!

**A/N: What is the Song of Purple Summer supposed to mean, anyway? lol....i hope you enjoyed!**

**Reviews?**


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